because you want me to just pay your bills

from lono: Against my better judgment, I allowed a friend to set me up some years back. I was about 22 or 23 maybe and the girl – we’ll car her Carol – was 21. She had gotten married when she was 18 and had two kids already. Her ex-husband was a Marine.

And, yes, she lived in manufactured housing – a trailer park. I call her up and ask her out and she explains to me that she can’t afford a babysitter, but could I come over on Saturday night and hang out with her? OK.

Upon arrival, much to my surprise she turns out to be a nice person – reasonably intelligent, witty and attractive. The kids are clean and so is the trailer, which are good signs.

We play with her kids for a while, until she puts them to bed. Then we start drinking beer and watching a movie. Midway through, we cuddle up a little and exchange a couple of kisses.

The movie ends, I tell her I had a lovely evening, but I have to go. Whereupon she throws her arms around me and literally pulls me down on top of her. Alarm bells go off instantly. I tell her I need to leave.

She tells me, “I bet you’re thinking I just want a husband and a father for my kids. Well, you’re wrong!” She bursts into tears.

Then she stops and tries to resume the kissing. I tell her I really have to go.

“But I need you to pay my electric bill. I don’t have any money.”

via “I was gonna tell you”

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