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She said it was midwinter… Snowing and quite cold…and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte.
They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn’t have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car’s fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal.
It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date’s concerns about “what is taking so long” with a reply that indeed, she was “freezing her butt off” and in need of some assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
(this story was told on Jay Leno)
Filed neatly under Bad Dates, Letters and tagged ice, pee, poop, tonight show, utah. Comment and discuss at THIS SPOT.
So I was waiting for this woman I met online for our first date, drinks on the waterfront. She was late. I sat nervously, looking around. Maybe she was here already and spying on me. I hate that. But then she walks in. I recognized her instantly, and she me. She walked up, smiling, offered her hand and said “I'm Pam. Sorry I'm late. Busy week at the office; I'm an accountant and April is the worst…”
I grabbed her arm, pulled her down to her seat and hissed in her ear. “Pam, we are surrounded by strangers! Don't you think you could be more discreet?” She was puzzled, or pretended to be. So I explained how foolish it was to tell me, a stranger, what she did for a living, not to mention advertising it to the whole bar. And, I thought to myself, not to mention the creepiness of such an inappropriate personal disclosure upon first meeting. What next, a description of her last orgasm? I shuddered inside.
We ordered drinks and talked. I whispered with appropriate caution; her conversational tone struck me as a bit too likely to be overheard, but I smiled and tried to ignore it. I felt sorry for her. I'd walk her to her car later to make sure no one followed her. She continued to offer intimate information, and to ask questions that made me uneasy. “Do you have brothers and sisters?” I vaguely alluded to siblings, but not to their genders, or even whether they were still alive. I do have siblings, but I have to protect them too. “What part of town do you live in?” I tried to stay calm. How could she ask that? Was she a stalker? Or just trying to gauge my wealth by my section of town? I felt like a hunted deer and a piece of meat, all at the same time. I felt bad about lying about what area I lived in. But what could I do?
Then came the killer question. Those four awful words that revealed her for what she was: WHAT…DO…YOU…DO? Now at least I knew I would never go out with this money grubbing whore again, who would risk my life by asking me such a question in a public venue. I excused myself to go to the restroom. Discreetly paid the bill, then snuck out the back way.
I moved to a different apartment that weekend. Just a precaution.
via best of craigslist: My horrible date after I noticed….
Filed neatly under Bad Dates and tagged craigslist, privacy. Comment and discuss at THIS SPOT.
I met this woman at work, and she worked in a different department. Ill call her Kleptomaniac Woman.I went out with her once, but there just wasnt really any chemistry there. I think that one of the reasons why there was no chemistry was that I couldnt help but notice that as we started to finish our dinner, she stole the salt and pepper shakers and a small bowl and hid them in her purse.I asked her, “Hmmm… I couldnt help but notice that you just pilfered the salt and pepper.” She replied, “Yeah, so whats the big deal?” She went on to explain that she just enjoys stealing things, and that all of her silver wear, glasses, and kitchen gear at home are all stolen from restaurants. Its one thing for a woman to steal my heart, but um… yeah.At this point, I realized something about myself. I had a picture in my mind of the kind of woman that Id want to date. I pictured a woman who was attractive, smart, etc. I decided at this point that I would need to amend that picture in my head to also include the quality of not being a compulsive thief. But I digress… back to the date. (read rest at site)
via My Horrible Dates 2.
Filed neatly under Bad Dates and tagged klepto, stealing. Comment and discuss at THIS SPOT.
After we fell asleep after having sex for the first time, I woke up to find you cracking my knuckles.
Filed neatly under Bad Dates and tagged knuckles, sex, sleep. Comment and discuss at THIS SPOT.
from lono: Against my better judgment, I allowed a friend to set me up some years back. I was about 22 or 23 maybe and the girl – we’ll car her Carol – was 21. She had gotten married when she was 18 and had two kids already. Her ex-husband was a Marine.
And, yes, she lived in manufactured housing – a trailer park. I call her up and ask her out and she explains to me that she can’t afford a babysitter, but could I come over on Saturday night and hang out with her? OK.
Upon arrival, much to my surprise she turns out to be a nice person – reasonably intelligent, witty and attractive. The kids are clean and so is the trailer, which are good signs.
We play with her kids for a while, until she puts them to bed. Then we start drinking beer and watching a movie. Midway through, we cuddle up a little and exchange a couple of kisses.
The movie ends, I tell her I had a lovely evening, but I have to go. Whereupon she throws her arms around me and literally pulls me down on top of her. Alarm bells go off instantly. I tell her I need to leave.
She tells me, “I bet you’re thinking I just want a husband and a father for my kids. Well, you’re wrong!” She bursts into tears.
Then she stops and tries to resume the kissing. I tell her I really have to go.
“But I need you to pay my electric bill. I don’t have any money.”
Filed neatly under Bad Dates, Letters and tagged bills, golddigger, kids, trailer park. Comment and discuss at THIS SPOT.
I am so that girl with all of the bad dating stories. I was single for most of my twenties and I had all of the dates. I had the blind dates, I had the set-ups by friends, I had the guys-I-met-online dates. After all of these bad dates, I was starting to think that there were no more normal guys out there, that there were no more good guys left out there, and that I would end up the single lady with a lot of cats. I do have one worst date that truly takes the cake, but I thought I would also share with you some of the little tidbits from my other truly bad dates. (rest is on her site…)
via The Wonder Women: I Wonder What My Worst Date Ever Was….
Filed neatly under Bad Dates, Letters and tagged alcohol, drinking, online. Comment and discuss at THIS SPOT.
Saturday night will definitely go down as my worst date ever. Several divas have already heard the story and found it quite amusing… so I’m posting it for everyone’s enjoyment or dismay.Wayne and I had been chatting for a couple of weeks when I finally decided to take him up on one of his offers to go out. We decided that we would meet in Brier Creek for dinner and a movie at 6:00 on Saturday night. About 4:30, I got a call from Wayne asking if we could change our location to Northgate Mall in Durham. He said that he wanted to see the newly renovated theatre… plus they serve beer there. So I’m like ok, that’ll work. I had never been to Northgate before, so he gave me directions. We decided to meet a little later 7:30 and do dinner Ruby Tuesday and a late movie.Wayne beat me to Ruby Tuesday and called to tell me he would be waiting inside. I walked in and started looking for him at a table or a booth. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone waving… it was Wayne. At the bar. So, I joined him. I ordered a beer after the bartender let me sit there for a good five minutes while she did nothing. She sucked. She also cut her hand while we were there… total moron. After ordering my drink, Wayne told me he wasn’t very hungry, but I could order something if I wanted to. I realized we were not going to eat dinner.Strike 1, Wayne!So, Wayne and I started chatting. As we talked he kept looking me up and down and talked to “the girls” several times. Talk about uncomfortable. I was making small talk, and this is how our first discussion went: (rest is on Divatini’s site…)
via Divatinis… A Way of Life: VALuptuous Diva’s Worst Date Ever.
Filed neatly under Bad Dates, Letters and tagged alcohol, birth control, drinking, movies. Comment and discuss at THIS SPOT.