Why you are single. » Status Updates

because you are menu dating

SingleDude — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 22:24:35 +0000

I am single because I am MENu Dating!!! http://bit.ly/1m44Y6

because your husband calls you a bitch with his girlfriend

SingleDude — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 22:22:22 +0000

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying “I just dropped the b*tch off I’ll be there in a few baby, miss you”. I asked him about it he said “I don’t know what you’re talking about Megan”. My name isn’t Megan. Not even close. FM

via FML

because google street view plotted infidelity for you

SingleDude — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 22:20:15 +0000

Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML

via FML

because your fat pops shirt buttons

SingleDude — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 22:18:40 +0000

Damn Im so fat while I was eating the button on my shirt popped opened and fell off! FML! For reals food strike! Nasty good for nothing…

via Twitter / fell off

because your mom meddles AND you suck

SingleDude — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 15:01:54 +0000

a legendary “mom is around” fb update:

because you don’t shower after working out

SingleDude — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 14:43:42 +0000

#menshouldnever smell. Seriously, i do not want to smell your body odor from working out, its gross.

listen to her! via Twitter / Kaitlyn: #menshouldnever smell. Ser ….

because you fart and broadcast it to the world

SingleDude — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 14:36:52 +0000

I just farted in the library and got mad cus it stinks really bad!!!

Twitter / Rashad Stephens: I just farted in the libra ….

your boobs hurt? TMI dear, TMI…

SingleDude — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 18:39:36 +0000

My boobs hurt. Had a daymare that I was pg and had to tell Jorge. I better damn well be ovulating.

via Twitter / singlegirlie

guysdomeafavor

SingleDude — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 18:29:39 +0000

Please have a great day kicking back watching football amongst the beer bottles with your pants undone & cigar butt in the mashed potatoes.

via Twitter / Rachel Bird