because you make demands then disclose that you are an alcoholic

Sappy, I know but I just watched the movie. lol Anyways, a little bit about me. Im single and have yet to find the right guy because I dont settle for less these days…Im confident that Im a catch and I hope u r too…And you should be SINGLE, not secretly married, divorced or any of that. I prefer someone that is educated, and successful but not a workaholic. Please be easy on the eyes as I am, fun to be around, and outgoing. By the way Im in recovery so if the fact that Im sober doesnt bother you then thats cool… Send a pic! Hope to hear from you!

via Must Love Dogs….

Filed neatly under Letters and tagged craigslist, dogs. Comment at THIS SPOT.

you crapped on his rug

from dumbmoments:

Once I was at the apartment of this guy I really like, and he was using the restroom when I really had to use the bathroom too. I couldn’t wait for him to finish, and I didn’t know what to do, so I just dropped my pants and crapped right there on the floor, and I swear I was going to pick it up with a paper towel and throw it away, but right then he came out of the bathroom. I threw a pillow over my crap and hoped he wouldn’t notice. Unfortunately he knew something was up, so he picked up the pillow and there was my crap. He was like, “What the Hell is this”, and I was so scared that I just made up this story. I said “Your dog just ran in here and pooped on the floor, but I didn’t want the dog to be embarrassed so I covered it up.” And he said “I don’t have a dog, I think you’re lying”. And I’m thinking gee what tipped you off. So he knew it was me, and he picked up the poop and he threw it at me. So I said “I guess this means we aren’t having dinner?” So I had to leave covered in my own poop. Oddly enough I did hear from him a few days later when he called to ask if I would pay the bill for the carpet cleaning he had to have. Then he asked out my twin sister, and told her the story. Now they are getting married, and I have to be in the wedding, and they sent me a diaper to wear under my dress. Oh my gosh, I wish I could die. — Anne

Filed neatly under Bad Dates, Letters and tagged bathroom, crap, dogs, poop. Comment at THIS SPOT.

because you got on the dog

from tfln:

(651): i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend

Filed neatly under SMS and Phone and tagged animals, dogs. Comment at THIS SPOT.